Broken Chairs

I’m thinking about cancelling my gym membership.

I know that sounds all negative and un-healthy for someone who’s still got around 100 kilometres to run this year  (or over 1,000km if you count the training), but with all the running, I haven’t been in months.  And the $43.60 they take out of my bank account every fortnight is starting to sting.

I announced this the other day at BPW MidCity dinner.  Just before I went to take my seat at the head of the table (please, just call me Madam President).  And, as I sat down, I broke the chair and landed on the floor, square on my arse.

It was brought to my attention (by the 23 women in attendance who were looking my way when it happened) that I may want to reconsider letting the gym membership go if that’s how chairs respond to me.

Fair enough.

Now anyone who knows me well (and, if not, Hi, welcome, thanks for coming), knows that being reasonable and rational isn’t my forte.  I’m more of a gut-feel-right-in-this-second sort of person.  But, I’ve been trying to think of all the reasons to keep or cancel my gym membership.

Obviously the chair thing is a vote for keep (I am also not the type of person to take humiliation all that well).  Having said that, I had gastro last week, that must have me at least a few kilos in credit???  To that point, I also run five days a week and do strength work three days a week, so it’s not like I’d be leaving the gym for the sofa and tin of sweetened condensed milk (although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t partial to both), I’m still active.

It makes good fiscal sense.  I’ve done some math and the $43.60 per fortnight will accumulate to $348.80 between now and the Sydney Marathon – that would reimburse my flights for that race.  Not nothing.

There are certain types of men at the gym who I find incredibly annoying – I don’t not like men (or a double negative for that matter) there’s just some men who hang out at gyms (too much some might argue) that grate on me.  Similarly, I don’t like the constant stream of wildly explicit music videos they play at the gym.  The way I see it, if I wanted to watch porn, I wouldn’t have gone to the gym in the first place.

Also, I am always low in Vitamin D for some reason, exercising outdoors helps with that (unless of course you’re in Melbourne and it’s 5:30am during Winter, then that makes no difference at all).  And while we’re talking about the Melbourne Winter (can I segue out of brackets? guess I’m doing it), it was 7°C with wind that felt like having dry ice blasted at you when I ran along the beach this morning.  Gyms are temperature controlled and don’t have cold winds.

Then there’s the group classes at the gym.  Oh!  How I love group classes.

Take Body Jam for example.  Picture this for a moment if you will: a group of (and excuse me while I generalise and use some hideous stereotypes here) about forty, white, thirty-plus year old women and about three, white, gay men, all from the suburbs of Melbourne, crumping to Beyonce and believing that they don’t look utterly ridiculous (it’s a shame up there with my taste in music, but I love it).

And Body Attack.  A class so tough it is rumoured to have made a friend of a friend of mine vomit in the back of the studio.  They say you burn 800 calories a session.  That’s cool, but it’s secondary to the fact you get to listen to pop music and do the pony, superman and grapevine if you ask me.

So I’m torn.  Do I cancel the membership and continue to inflict unknown pain on the chairs of Melbourne’s dining establishments (and it’s also just occurred to me that the hydraulics on the office chair I’m currently sitting on are starting to go too… hmm), or do I keep forking out $43.60 a fortnight in the vain hope that I’ll get to the gym on top of the 1,000 or so kilometres I’ll run between now and Sunday 9 October when this madness ends?

One Response to “Broken Chairs”
  1. in this types of chairs are not used to any work. because in this chair is broken. so we can’t use this chair. so we will buy a good quality types of chairs. quality is must be an important one. so we won’t purchase in this types of chairs.

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  • My Marathons for Maddie in 2011

    Run for the Kids: 17 April - 14.38km
    Mothers' Day Classic: 8 May - 4km
    Run Melbourne: 17 July – half marathon
    Sandy Point Half: 21 August - half marathon
    Sydney Running Festival: 18 September – half marathon
    Melbourne Marathon: 9 October – marathon

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