Caving in

“Sometimes there’s so much beauty in the world I feel like I can’t take it, like my heart’s going to cave in.”

That’s a quote from American Beauty.  It came to me while I was running on the beach in Sorrento this weekend.  Which also leads me to an apology – sorry I’ve been out of touch – we had a five-day weekend… I was off running and reading and eating and, you know, long weekend stuff.

Anyway, there was a lot I wanted to write about from the weekend and I’ll come back to those things (Easter, ANZAC Day, down the beach), but I wanted, mostly, to tell you about what I got to experience over those five days that was beautiful.  Because it’s mostly due to Lozzie and Miss Maddie that I appreciate beauty the way I do and, much like our troubled hero in American Beauty, sometimes, there’s so much, I feel like my heart will, indeed, cave in.

A quick note on what I perceive as beauty before we go on.  Much is made of beauty as something someone looks like and there are measures put around what is and isn’t beautiful (I’m not going to get too deep into my thoughts on that in this post; that’s a whole several thousand words on its own for [probably] obvious reasons). 

But here is what I believe about it. 

It can’t be boxed up and sold. 

It isn’t looks.  But it can be. 

It can be brutally painful or upliftingly happy. 

It isn’t in things.  It is in blissful, blissful moments.

~~~

Walking on the beach, barefoot while wearing a floor length watermelon coloured dress.  Sand beneath my toes and the swoosh of bright colour on top of them.

Reading a beautifully written book while snuggled up amongst the cushions on the world’s comfiest sofa.

Cooking eggs for breakfast and having the time to enjoy them.

Chloe playing with the neighbours’ escaped dog in the backyard.

Watching four young girls open Easter eggs.

Sorrento

The beach at Sorrento

Walking on the beach at sunset.

Spending lounging hours reading on my own but with someone I love close by.

Washing Chloe’s feet every time she went outside.

Listening to four little girls chase unicorns and fairies in an empty spare room that was strictly off-limits to adults.

Saturday afternoon drinks with friends.

Running the hilly track from Sorrento to Portsea and back after thinking “I’ll never be able to run the hilly track from Sorrento to Portsea and back”.

Unabashed giggling.

The way that people’s faces light up, even when they’re in their 30’s, when they’re hunting for Easter eggs.

Driving home all the way along the beach so we can stare at the ocean, extra hour of travel time or not. 

The smell of open fires on clear, crisp, sunny Autumn afternoons.

Hot Cross Bun macarons given so generously.

The best Vegemite on toast ever.

Beautifully written cards.

Standing at the point where the waves hit the sand, while you stare out at the water, feeling something between desperately happy and desperately sad, thinking of all the beauty that it holds.

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Comments
2 Responses to “Caving in”
  1. Kx says:

    Goosebumps, every time I read your blog. I’m so grateful for your appreciation of beauty and being able to share in what you experienced. Please, Keep writing!

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  • My Marathons for Maddie in 2011

    Run for the Kids: 17 April - 14.38km
    Mothers' Day Classic: 8 May - 4km
    Run Melbourne: 17 July – half marathon
    Sandy Point Half: 21 August - half marathon
    Sydney Running Festival: 18 September – half marathon
    Melbourne Marathon: 9 October – marathon

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