Shut up and run

First big race day on Sunday!  Pumped.

But I won’t lie to you; I’m starting to feel rather emotional about it. 

It may be that I’m tired after going to Perth and back for one day yesterday.  I may well have PMS.  It might be my knee.  Or it could be that it’s just over a month since little Maddie became an Angel and I want to do this for her more than I am able to articulate and the significance is just starting to sink in.

I was fine this morning.  Then, while I was on the tram Facebooking about 25cent margaritas (permanent relocation to the States becoming more and more likely), the Run for the Kids page posted the following:

r4k facebook update

r4k facebook update

A couple of things.

First, why couldn’t this first run be called something boring like “Run ALL THE WAY up the hill on the Bolte Bridge” or “We don’t know why it’s 14.38km either, just shut up and run it” or “April Fun Run”.  I don’t know… “Run for the Kids”… It’s pretty confronting.

Secondly, if I feel this tired and emotional… (How do I explain this?)  Let me do what one of my great mentors, Hugh Macfarlane, does and tell you a short story.

Last year I did the Mothers’ Day Classic fun run with my Mum (I know – she’s very tall and fit and awesome) and I remember choking back tears many times because so many people had t-shirts and signs and things with details about their Mums.  It’s a breast cancer fundraiser so a lot of families had lost their mums, wives, daughters, sisters, friends, grandmas, aunts.  I am very lucky not to have lost anyone I have loved to breast cancer – but I have certainly seen it hurt one of my closest friends (a woman who I love and respect infinitely) and it took one of my Mum’s closest friends far too early and it has effected many other people I love very deeply – as I’m sure it has for all of you. 

It was beautiful to be a part of.  And very inspiring.  But tough. 

So this is my second point: how is it going to be on Sunday running with people who have lost kids?  Little kids?  Their kids. 

These are their Daddies and Mummies. 

I know right.

Running is the easy bit.

I had lunch with Dad (or Gazza or Gary or Colonel Hevey) the other day (another hereditary thing I have – a deep love of a good chat at lunch time).  And we were talking about me writing this blog.  I love reading and writing and one of the harshest criticisms I have felt I could give an author has always been that they were overly sentimental.  That they talked about their emotion instead of describing the experience in a way that would not allow the reader to have their own emotional response to the situation.  I told Gazza I won’t be using that criticism any more.  It’s tough not to do that.  And now, I am monumentally guilty of it so, fairly, expect some criticism for it.

And if I feel this tired and emotional (can I keep blaming this on being an only child??), then I can’t stop thinking about how infinitely far away I am from understanding what the Daddies and Mummies and MiMis and PawPaws and Aunts and Uncles and Cousins and Classmates are feeling.

So, cognisant that I have the easy job in all  this, I will now shut up and run.

Of course for the kids.  Of course for Maddie.  But for all the Dads and all the Mums and all the Nanas and Pas as well.

It may well be the most rubbish time I’ve ever run and I may well have to just cut my right leg off to make it (I’ve seen some of 127 hours so am sure it will be fine).  But I’ll make it. 

And I just hope that, somehow, while I’m running it, you guys can feel that I’ll be sending all the strength that I have to you.

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Comments
4 Responses to “Shut up and run”
  1. Lk says:

    Let me start by saying I very rarely cry, but as I was reading this post my iTunes decided to play This Old Love by Lior with the chorus line ‘we’ll grow old together and this love will never die’ in a haunting melody – sob…

  2. Jan Hevey says:

    Love and hugs to you, you gorgeous girl. I’m so proud of you!

  3. Kristi says:

    I know it’s been a very long time since we talked face to face, but I am so proud to know you, you’re a Very Special Person. Yup, you deserve capitals. You are exceptional =)

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  • My Marathons for Maddie in 2011

    Run for the Kids: 17 April - 14.38km
    Mothers' Day Classic: 8 May - 4km
    Run Melbourne: 17 July – half marathon
    Sandy Point Half: 21 August - half marathon
    Sydney Running Festival: 18 September – half marathon
    Melbourne Marathon: 9 October – marathon

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