New running gear

There’s no denying it.  I’m just not in my 20’s anymore.  Which is fine – I quite enjoy being 31 (tip of the cap to SJP et al.).  But my knees, shins, calves, sacral plexus and something above my right butt cheek which I don’t know the name for, keep doing this annoying thing where they forget that 31 is the new 21 and they hurt like hell from time to time.  So, with the infinite wisdom that comes with being 31 (that’s a joke – I’m still unable to emulate my absolute and correct knowledge of absolutely everything that I had when I was 14), I decided to buy some proper running gear to help my little legs pump their way through 2011.

If you’re bored of my waffling already, I’m sorry – it’s hereditary.  See my first post.  And I’ve already had two soy lattes so there’s a long way to go yet.  You may want to come back later if you’re busy now.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

So, new gear… exciting!  2XU compression leggings and fancy socks that actually have an L and an R on them and a new pair of runners.

If you’re not a runner, you mightn’t have seen compression leggings off a person before.  I hadn’t.  I had used Skins before but they looked pretty normal.  So when the sales assistant at 2XU handed me what appeared to be running leggings for a Barbie doll, I was a bit surprised.  I won’t walk you through exactly how the changing room experience went, but apologies for the strange noises to anyone else who was in the 2XU store on Hampton Street on Sunday afternoon.

2XU running tights

2XU running tights

Long story short: I got them on and they feel awesome.

But here’s the thing: they’re tight.  Not just like “I had to lie down to get my jeans on” tight.  More like Paris and Nicole Richie before the split tight.  Tight.  You can see more of the shape of my legs in these things than I can see when I’m in the shower.  There is no hiding from anything in these leggings.

So day one training in the new leggings.  Now, I hate the phrase “camel toe” and I don’t want to use it in my blog, but it happens and I don’t want it to happen to me.  I don’t want to be that woman and I don’t want to end up on some dodgy gross website.  So, I decide that I will do what I have seen a lot of people do and throw a pair of shorts on top.

But here’s the thing.  If you know me, you’ll know I’m little and I’m chubby (I’m not having an “I hate my body” moment here – I love my body, it’s capable of more than I ever gave it credit for during my teen years or my 20’s and I am pretty comfortable that it is what it is.  But what it is, is not skinny.  I’ve never been the skinny girl.  Put it this way, I don’t look like I’m going to run 140.58km this year.).  So when you put shorts on top of ultra tight leggings on a pair of legs that are about the height of a dining table… you look, well, like the seven dwarfs little-mentioned sister.Seven Dwarfs

But I figure it’s 5am and it’s dark and I’ll go for it.  Not that many people around.  And I do, and it’s fine.  But the shorts are bulky and a pain and I’m wondering if I can get away without them.

Roll on Tuesday night.  It’s still light.  And while I’ve never considered myself in the mirror prior to training before, I’m doing it now.  And, after much checking and adjusting, I decide to go with no shorts.  And, may I add at this point, that I cannot for the life of me understand why there is a drawstring on the waist of these leggings.  How on earth could anything this tight fall down?

Two laps of the Tan coming right up.  Off to a great start and about 4km in. 

Here’s how they fall down: they’re so darn tight that when your body heats up the bottoms creep up and the top creeps down.  They’re trying, reasonably well, to return to their original Barbie-legging size.  Turns out the shorts may have an added benefit: keeping the bloody leggings up.

As I said earlier, I love my body and all it does for me, but I’m not skinny.  And the tightness of the leggings could create a muffin top on Kate Moss (or at least I like to think that’s the case).  So on me, yes, there’s quite a, umm, protrusion shall we say, over the top of the leggings. 

So I’m running.  And my pants are falling down.  But the only way to get to the drawstring that I didn’t tie up because – pfft, how ridiculous! – is by exposing my muffin top to all the super fit people at the Tan training for football and marathons.  A dilemma.

After about 1km of gripping the top of these bloody leggings and debating whether it would really be that bad running around the Tan with my pants down, I bite the bullet.  I turn up Britney on the iPod (shut up, I love her), lift my t-shirt up, yank up the leggings and tie the knot.  Just in time for an entire football team of disgustingly fit young men to run past in all their shirtless, glistening six pack, bike pantsed, look-how-fit-I-am glory.

But they didn’t have shorts over their skins either.  So at least I got that right.

4 Responses to “New running gear”
  1. Tim says:

    I think I am going to enjoy this blog. I thank you for another diversion … my clients, however, would like a word with you.

    PS. Coffee out the nose on the “camel toe” reference (in case you’re keeping score).
    Tim (or TR or Uncle Caca)

  2. Jan Hevey says:

    What a picture you conjure up in my mind!!! Had such a giggle but well done Suz!!!!!

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  • My Marathons for Maddie in 2011

    Run for the Kids: 17 April - 14.38km
    Mothers' Day Classic: 8 May - 4km
    Run Melbourne: 17 July – half marathon
    Sandy Point Half: 21 August - half marathon
    Sydney Running Festival: 18 September – half marathon
    Melbourne Marathon: 9 October – marathon

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